Why You Feel Stuck On Repeat
(And What It’s Actually Trying To Teach You)

You know that saying “Same shit, different (day/dude/toilet)…” fill in the blank. It’s a perfect expression to describe that feeling of being stuck in a repetitive loop that we don’t understand or have any idea of how to free ourselves from. It suggests that we’re trapped in a cycle or pattern of sorts with no solution or end in sight — a repeating life theme.

So, What Are Repeating Life Themes?

A repeating life theme, also referred to as a karmic cycle, can be relational, situational, or emotional. It’s a pattern that feels stuck or familiar—something you continue to experience over and over again, even when you initially perceive it as being different or new. These often originate from a deeper place—past experiences that created residual energy and left unresolved issues. This is a common thing that happens, as many of us don’t learn early on how to process our emotions, rather that we must find a way to sweep it, get over it, and move on. Instead of learning to deal with our issues, we learn to bury them and they become embedded in our foundation. Something buried that deeply within becomes familiar in interesting ways and we begin to attract more of that familiar energy unconsciously.

In a more scientific sense, this can be known as repetition compulsion—a phenomenon where people repeat past traumatic experiences in an attempt to gain mastery over them.

This can honestly feel like cruel and unusual punishment, but when you understand it from a deeper, spiritual perspective, you realize it is not. It’s the Universe’s way of highlighting what is unresolved and needs healing for your soul’s growth and wholeness.

How To Recognize Karmic Cycles & Repeating Life Patterns

These patterns reveal themselves in different ways and can sometimes be difficult to identify. Especially when you’re too emotionally close or caught up in them. It may feel like a sense of déjà vu or carry an underlying energy that is just frustratingly familiar. It can feel like the Universe is picking on you, or like the Divine has simply abandoned you (none of which is true). But these feelings will often trigger the question, “why does this keep happening to me?”, or a certain knee-jerk reactions that set off like muscle memory, creating a feeling of powerlessness – as if you have no control in the matter.

Common Signs You’re In A Repeating Life Pattern:

• Déjà vu or extreme familiarity in specific situations
• Constantly attracting people with the same toxic or unhealthy behavioral traits
• Inability to end certain relationships
• Family or generational themes – which some people may even refer to as generational curses
• Constantly coming face-to-face with your deepest fear
• Feeling stuck regardless of any efforts to persevere
• Unresolved challenges, conflicts, and drama

Think of it like dating the same guy over and over. Only each time you meet him, he looks like a totally different person—different build, style, hobbies, profession. At first, he seems nothing like the last guy you dated. But the more time you spend with him, the more you realize, he’s exactly like the last guy you dated. Your experience with this person becomes nearly (if not completely) identical to your previous relationships. The superficial details have changed, but the core, underlying energy remains the same.

If you’re not careful, this could lead to you developing a belief that all men are the same, making you bitter and resistant to dating in general. But the idea that all men are the same simply couldn’t be further from the truth. All men are in fact not the same. This is just the lens you have grown accustomed to viewing relationships through due to your own repeating life patterns. You have become a vibrational match to constantly attracting the same type of man into your life, therefore this is your experience.

When you have this sense that life keeps repeating itself, it can leave you feeling stuck in life, discouraged, and even hopeless to some degree—like being in quick sand. This is why it’s so important that you learn how to break negative patterns that keep showing up in your life.

Why We Repeat Life Lessons

Of course you want to know what keeps us stuck and why we keep repeating life patterns.

I want you to think of life itself like a school for your soul’s growth and evolution. Each experience is a new lesson and opportunity for your soul to grow, develop, and mature. And as we all know, after every lesson comes a test. What have you learned? Are you able to clearly demonstrate your understanding? Is it embedded within your core or will you need a hint or reminder later down the line? Every soul has a mission and purpose here in life. And for each person, it’s different. That’s why we’re all so unique. And although many of us have similar experiences, they’re never exactly the same, and the impact it has on each person typically isn’t exactly the same either.

These lessons are meant to equip you for your next level—to ensure you have all the knowledge, tools, and resources in your tool belt for the next level—to serve in your purpose. You can’t be promoted if you’re unprepared or underdeveloped. Otherwise, you will surely fail. And that’s with anything in life. In order to be fully equipped in your purpose, you have to understand all the layers and moving pieces like the back of your hand. What better way to gain this clarity than to experience it first hand? I mean, I could tell you what it’s like to ride a rollercoaster, but until you get on one and experience it yourself, you’ll never truly get it. It’s just not the same.

Karmic cycles and repeating life patterns are essentially unresolved challenges or lessons that we have yet to fully understand and integrate.

For Example:

One of my soul missions is to guide others in building unwavering self-worth. This requires a certain level of compassion and understanding. It requires the ability to relate to all the challenges that someone struggling with a poor sense of self-worth may be facing. This means that I had to go first. My sense of self-worth has been challenged my entire life, in every way possible. And this is no easy feat. I had to learn through experiences that I want more and I deserve more. That I am the only one who can determine my value and it’s not calculated by how much I do or how much I give. It just simply IS. I now understand that I am made in the image of the most high, and therefore my value is immeasurable. It is infinite. And because of everything I had to experience in order to develop this belief and understanding, I have also developed a deep passion for helping other women like myself to come to this realization too.

Now with that said, if my mission is helping other women develop unshakable self-worth, as you can imagine, one of the primary areas I felt stuck in the same pattern for so long was relationships. All of my relationships—whether platonic or romantic—continuously challenged my beliefs about my own value. I had to learn lessons in setting and enforcing boundaries, over-giving as a way to compensate for feeling like what I had to offer just wasn’t enough, people-pleasing, speaking my truth, taking up space rather than shrinking, and so many others. I’ve gotta say… these are not easy lessons.

In relationships, when you struggle with self-worth, your boundaries are always being tested.

I often attracted people who seemed to specialize in emotional manipulation in ways that challenged my boundaries and my self-esteem. I’d find myself “turning the other cheek” and letting the craziest shit slide. I’d often bite my tongue and refrain from expressing my true feelings just to avoid confrontation. All of this simply due to fear that I would lose that relationship. But the truth is… who the fuck wants a relationship like that anyway? A relative who constantly makes you feel like shit just because you share a blood line and “blood is thicker than water” so you just have to get over it. A friend who throws more shade than a tree and is constantly taking advantage of anything they can get out of you but can never be found when you need someone in your corner. A partner that you can’t trust or depend on in any sense of the words. Um… NO, THANK YOU!

NO I will not accept being treated this way. And NO you cannot continue to be in my life if you cross the line again.

These are some of the themes I experienced repeatedly until I developed the unwavering belief that my presence is a privilege. Because it most definitely is. If someone is unwilling to treat me with the love and respect I deserve, they do not belong in my life and yes, I can do better. Period. The idea of “losing” someone because you enforce boundaries that protect you from mistreatment and uphold your value is absolutely absurd. You cannot lose what is meant for you my dear. So when it’s gone, that’s because it’s supposed to be. This is divine protection.

I find that after we go through a karmic cycle, we’re often given some time to reflect. This may feel like a period of solitude or even isolation. This is healthy, and much needed.

It’s the perfect time to reflect on the differences and similarities between this situation and the last one and ask yourself the deeper questions like:

• What lesson is this situation meant to teach me?
• What is the pattern here?
• What am I missing?
• What do I still need to learn?
• How can I do better next time and what will I do differently?

Try not to look at this as punishment, but rather an opportunity to process any unhealed beliefs, energies, or karmic contracts that may be hindering you from your fullest potential. Your soul wants to break toxic cycles and evolve through awareness and choice. And the truth is, we experience the greatest spiritual growth through discomfort. When we feel discomfort, we naturally get the urge to do something about it. This is your soul waking you up and pushing you forward in your truth and your purpose. You don’t have to keep reliving the same cycles. Once you become aware of the pattern, you hold the power to shift it.