I can understand why some people think “your beliefs are just your beliefs.” That they are static & once established or defined, they are forever & unchanging.
But what if I challenge you to explore with me the possibility that that’s not necessarily true? What if I can show you why re-evaluating your belief system might be one of the single most beneficial things you do in your adult life to bring yourself peace, clarity, & alignment?
So let’s talk about it…
What Is a Belief, Anyway?
Let’s start with what is a belief anyway? By definition, it is a principle, proposition, idea, etc. accepted as true.
Opinion; conviction.
So, what is a belief system?
It is an integrated set of principles, tenets, & doctrines that form the basis of a religion, philosophy, or moral code.
Your belief system, made up of all the individual principles & ideas you’ve accepted as true throughout your life, is the foundation of who you are. It’s the lens & filter through which you perceive & experience life. It’s the basis for how you respond to most things in your life.
Therefore, beliefs can either create possibilities or destroy them.
Where Beliefs Come From
Our belief systems begin forming during early childhood, and many people never go back and ask, “Is this still true for me now?” Many of them go on to live the rest of their lives in conflict with themselves… wrestling with right & wrong, up & down, left & right, in & out. Too afraid to even consider another way of life.
Our beliefs come from many different places. Our parents, ancestors, friends, culture, environment, experiences, etc. And as we move through life, we often don’t realize when we have outgrown a particular belief.
We may start experiencing some discomfort or tension around that area and either completely dismiss it or consider it a test of faith, and just keep going until it breaks us one way or another. Staying so busy there’s no time to actually sit with it, rationalizing “everyone struggles with this”, doubling down even harder on the belief instead of examining it.
We don’t stop to ask the very powerful questions: “Do I still believe this? Why, or why not?”
For example, maybe you grew up religious and the scripture frowns upon divorce, but you’ve found yourself in a life-sucking marriage. It’s undeniably toxic, the love is gone, the respect is non-existent, and you’re not sure how many more days you can count like this. But there’s no real end in sight because… it’s a life-long commitment… a vow… ’til death do you part… right?
A decision you made 10 years ago landed you in a life-long prison in your own home that you can never get out of. Never being able to experience life or love the way your heart desires because of a choice you made long ago, when it actually made sense… when the entire experience was something worth saying yes to. And now, because of a belief that keeps you bound to it.
But… if that’s your belief, that’s your belief.
What Happened When I Started Questioning My Beliefs
Honestly, I’ve always been one to question things. I never really blindly trusted anything. I always wanted to know more. And I felt a ton of resistance to things I was told “that’s just how it is”. My brain always wanted to know why. I questioned authority a lot… which also got me into trouble. I was considered one of those teens that “talked back”. But my rebuttals were typically questions looking for clarity when things didn’t make sense. I was told “you think too much” quite often.
I absolutely despised being forced to accept things that did not settle with me… things that didn’t seem right or things that left more questions and holes than answers and resolution.
Then there came a point in my life… about 6 years ago where everything around me was literally falling apart. I felt alone and realized that I was the only one who was obligated to honor every single choice and decision I’d made or would ever make… Regardless of who I was trying to please or make happy at the time, whose advice I had taken, etc. The only one left in all that mess was me.
Hurt filled my heart, and I finally said “FUCK IT”.
Ultimately, if I’m the only one who has to face it at the end of the day, then the only one I should be trying to please is ME! I decided that I didn’t care anymore what anyone thought of me. I no longer gave a damn about their opinions or judgements. I realized that those who were truly for me would understand, and those who wouldn’t didn’t matter.
I started re-evaluating my whole life. What made sense. What felt true and what didn’t. Questioning beliefs I had about myself and life… about everything. And whew… it was life-changing.
I began to see that many of my beliefs had been inherited. And some of them created confusion not only for me, but also for those I had inherited it from. “That’s just how it is”. While they may still hold those beliefs as their truth, I decided to explore what felt more concrete and supporting for me. I’m not suggesting that anyone is right or wrong here. Just that some of what I was holding onto was no longer serving me.
You know… this reminds me of something I heard years ago. Someone said this and it stuck with me. You know how you may walk in the kitchen to find your mom preparing dinner and you notice she has a particular rhythm, recipe, or way of doing something? So you ask her, “hey mom, why do you do it that way?”. And mom says, “I don’t know… that’s just how my mom showed me”. And maybe you get to go ask grandma why she does it that way. She says “Well… I was out of this and that ingredient that day, so I just substituted it with this and it was fine.”
Like quite literally… no real rhyme or reason! But your mom always showed you NOPE!! THIS is the family recipe! Or NOPE!! THIS is the right way to get this done! And in that moment, you give yourself permission to explore new recipes… or new tools to maybe make a task easier, etc.
This is exactly like that! lol.
When I started really asking questions and re-evaluating what everything actually meant to me, it allowed me to discover deeper meaning, understanding, and the ability and permission to replace old principles that were no longer serving me… maybe even causing pain, tension, or confusion with new ones that brought me clarity and helped me navigate life in a way that made me feel whole rather than fragmented.
I found that some beliefs I held for so long were more limiting rather than expansive. Some even made me feel poorly about myself. And that alone made confidence-building feel nearly impossible. I found that getting to know my belief system, through & through, left fewer weak points for breakdown. Because when you don’t know what you believe… or even what to believe… anyone can convince you of just about anything.
And that creates a fragile self-trust system. One that can be crushed slowly, convinced out of you piece by piece, until you no longer trust your own judgment.
So, for me… challenging my own beliefs also helped me to identify very solid core values, which ultimately makes decision-making 10x easier. I can just check with my alignment filter now.
If it doesn’t align, it’s a no for me. Period.
Trust Yourself Enough to Question Everything
That may sound so simple, trivial to some… but honestly, we don’t think about all the red flags we ignore through life, but then wonder why shit is out of order & doesn’t make sense. Or why we’re surrounded by people, places, & things that don’t reflect the truth of who we are or what we want.
Challenging what you believe isn’t destructive… it’s intentional. You’re testing what you’ve always assumed against new evidence, seeing if it still holds weight. That’s how you find the blind spots and close the gaps. That’s what makes your view of your own life clearer. Because if something is true for you… really true for you… no amount of pressure will make you fold. So why not allow yourself the permission… the freedom… to put it to the test? To be fully open to explore, and unbiased about your findings.
Something else I want to call your attention to. Have you ever noticed that you believe yourself more than you believe anyone else? If you think you can, you’re right. If you think you can’t, you’re right.
Your beliefs matter in your reality more than anyone else’s. It’s important to make sure they support your highest potential. Otherwise, you’ll always be settling for a lesser experience.
I found that I had some beliefs that, against all other theories and concepts, still remained solid for me. Against all new evidence, I wasn’t able to “debunk” them. And then I found that I had some that led me into deeper paths of learning, understanding, and growth. I started with more questions than answers, so I kept asking until I found the answers that not only resonated with me, but also made everything just click. I found the holes and determined if what I found was meant to just fill the gap, or replace the whole thing entirely.
I feel like we should all be doing this regularly in every area of our lives. Because we’re constantly learning, growing, and evolving. (And if you’re not… start asking questions about that until you figure out why, because you should be).
Staying in alignment requires us to frequently ask ourselves whether or not something still feels right. Whether or not we’ve outgrown it, especially when it’s causing friction in our lives or staying loyal to it comes at the expense of betraying ourselves. It’s our responsibility to dig into that and figure out why, being that our belief system is such a big part of who we are. It’s important to make sure we understand why we believe the things that we do. Sometimes we find that we no longer believe what we thought we did, and that’s okay. It just means that you may have outgrown that belief, and it’s time to replace it with a new one that resonates and supports you.
That’s growth.
Signs It May Be Time to Re-Examine Your Belief System
- Doesn’t align anymore? → When “the math stops mathing” and your questions start creating more tension and confusion, especially in decision-making… it’s time to check the numbers! It creates internal conflict, stress, and anxiety. You feel like you have to hide yourself, or you may even be beating yourself up for misaligned choices & actions… they feel right for you but induce feelings of shame or fear.
- Holding you back? → You’re missing or avoiding opportunities and experiences that feel genuinely exciting or fulfilling to your soul. Not allowing space to grow or expand mentally by exploring new ideas and concepts, or even expanding on what you already know or believe. You feel like there’s more to you than what you know, but you’re afraid to take the steps to actually learn the depths of your truth.
- Limiting your growth? → This isn’t the same as missing an opportunity. This one’s about a ceiling on who you’re even allowed to become. This is when you’re playing small on purpose. Shrinking your vision of what’s possible for you because the belief itself never made room for more. You’re not just skipping an experience, you’re capping how far you let yourself develop in the first place.
- Never yours? → It’s something you inherited & never questioned. Typically originating with your family or your parents. You know there are consequences for stepping out of alignment, and the fear of that keeps you bound. You grew up with that “truth,” even if you never believed or aligned with it. It’s just “how it is”.
When You Know, You Know
This is an exercise that I do regularly in my own practice that has led me closer to my own truth and harmony, and I know it can work for you too. It’s almost like preparing for a test. You go back to check your facts, make sure everything lines up before you run with it and beat it into your memory. And once you truly know that fact, without a doubt in your mind, no one can tell you any different because you KNOW. If it ever became a question, you’d always know the answer quickly and without hesitation. If it required you to take a specific action, you wouldn’t hesitate because you already know the right way to go.
And the same works in reverse…
When you didn’t study, and you don’t know for sure, what happens? You hesitate… you search everywhere in your brain for a lead… something… anything. All those feelings of doubt start building up and you worry that you might actually bomb this one. You overthink and sometimes even misjudge. And it becomes a heavy weight.
This practice really does have the power to help lead you to making better, more aligned choices for your life. It can allow you to experience life in a way that satisfies your soul, and to live for yourself rather than the expectations of others.
The reality is, what’s true for someone else may not necessarily be true for you, and vice versa. Neither is right or wrong. It just is.
And I get it…
Sometimes the idea of changing your mind, or changing direction in life, almost feels like betrayal or fraud. You might question if everything you’ve ever said or done in the past loses all credibility simply because you’ve changed your mind.
But let me tell you…
That’s not the case.
As you grow, you learn more. And as you learn more, your perspective evolves. That’s progress… it’s evolution. Something worth praise and celebration, not judgement or rejection.
You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to grow. And you are allowed to experience the absolute best version of your life intentionally and unapologetically.
If this hit home for you, unsettled you, or made you go back and reread a line twice… that’s not an accident. It means we’ve aligned for a reason.
If you want to keep going deeper into your beliefs, your mindset, and everything underneath the life you’re actually building, you’re in the right place. Every week, my community and I dive into topics just like this and more, and I’d love for you to be part of those conversations. Plus, you’ll get notified when I drop my next piece, where we go even deeper into the fear that shows up when your beliefs start changing or evolving… and why it can feel like betrayal or fraud, even when it’s actually growth.
Enter your details below to join conversation →
Stop Settling!
My newsletter is where we get honest about what it actually takes to build a life that reflects your worth, your truth, and what you're really here for, spirit, mind, body, and prosperity.
You're allowed to outgrow what once felt true. You're allowed to choose what's true now.
Plus, you'll get instant access to The Sacred Identity Shift, a free 5-part series built around one idea: every version of you already exists within you. Choose which one leads, and walk out of self-doubt into the one who already knows her worth.
Sign up below and start receiving something worth actually reading.